I did two creative challenges this year: inktober for October and Nanowrimo for November. I’ve been doing Nanowrimo on and off for three years already, while this is my second inktober for my fandom, Osomatsu-san.
It’s not really new to me but this year was more difficult compared to last but despite the odds, I still managed to finish both. BOO YEAH! BOTH!
But first, let us discuss Inktober. Here it was in a nutshell:
Inktober was not really my strong suit. First of all, I’m not an artist and I haven’t learned the foundation of drawing. Although I will never call myself an artist, I do enjoy drawing and doodling. This was one those things that I do because it’s Osomatsu-san. It’s like buying merch, I do it because it’s Osomatsu-san; if it’s any other fandom -- I will never do this kind of thing. It’s just frustrating and not to mention very difficult. Why? (1) I have no idea what I’m doing, (2) I don’t think my art is any good and (3) I’m only doing this for fun. There was never any intention to prove that I improved or to show that I’m good. I just do it for fun and I get surprised that this year’s inktober was a bit better(?) than before. Maybe? I don’t know. Maybe I am deluding myself but with every piece I try to make, I do it a challenge for myself. I mean, it’s already a challenge to draw on time, but there’s also that part of me telling myself to try something I never did before – also to draw hands. Because fuck hands.
Click for the complete set of my Osomuchink 2018 entries at Twitter
But in the end, I managed to do everything! All the days and all the prompts as much as I can with limited time and limited skill. I do believe I did a good job, it’s not the best but I reached the requirement, which for me is already a success.
I like to be realistic and set the bar low for me.
And that’s exactly what I did for Nanowrimo.
The previous Nanowrimos were terrible because I liked to shoot for the stars. I tried making 5k a day so that if I missed the next days there were still some word count I could fall back on. Big mistake. Because there were days that I didn’t write, it got harder to pick up where I left off. Ultimately causing me more stress and failing at it altogether. There was also a year where I tried to plan ahead and I still kept that.
So for short, I had two attempts in Nanowrimo I could think back on to prepare me for this year’s.
It’s a furikaeri and there were some things I want to keep, some issues I have to take note of and some steps that I could try so I could solve those issues.
So yeah, like I said I tried to go slow and steady this year. I tried not to miss a day and just aim for 1k-2k words a day. I also hyped myself up by tweeting about it and talking about it just to get those endorphins to continue running.
The people from MatsuPH among other friends in the fandom also helped a lot. Although I did tell them specifically what they should do to help me. Thus my post in the MatsuPH server.
How to help mic during nanowrimo: 1. tag mic for all magical au and magical girl au art. 2. Tag mic when you see OsoToto. bonus point kung magical 3. Give mic references for magical girls 4. remind mic to drink water
This helped a lot because I got inspirations, references and just the general everyday boost I needed to continue. Even though they had no idea what was happening in the story and I was just giving snippets, it did not feel lonely. This I think was very important because the previous Nanowrimos felt exactly like that – writing for the void. Even until now I still have some backlog on the things gave me and I really appreciate everything.
Of course, there were still days where I fall back and think that this wasn’t good or this did not make sense, or that no one really cared about this. And there were also days where I got sick and those days were hard because even if I was at home, there was no writing happening. There were words but it's not 5k and there's this little imp inside your mind that would tell you that "you should be hitting more words because you're just stuck at home!"
The worst thing you could do to stop being productive was to worry that you were not productive. For me, it always causes a downward spiral into sadness and hopelessness, but I know myself enough to spot where that spiral begins.
However, just knowing about it doesn’t mean I can stop it. So what I planned to do was to just think about the 1k words as the requirement. It was a battle against my inner demons again but as long as I think of numbers as numbers, insecurities shouldn’t matter.
As long as I can reach that 1k words today I should be able to fix things later on during proofreading. I know it’s that bad habit of relying on future me, but somehow during the struggle, it helped. Because I have that “I can still fix it some other time if I just manage to make it to the requirement” in mind, I still puked out the words.
There are still some things I need to do for that story, like proofreading and uploading, but for now. I managed to do 50,550 words in one month and I believe that is a great achievement. I FUCKING FINALLY FINISHED A NANOWRIMO!
PS. Do take note that I was doing both these challenges while studying for JLPT. Now, that shit is suicide and I swear never to do that again.
Another self-indulgent review of stuff I wrote last year in terms of word count. This is purely Osomatsu-san because I don't really write anything else now
2016 carryovers: 36365
Oneshots: 11 titles with 31825 words
Multichapter: 6 titles with 106636 words
Also wrote some extra stuff: 6 titles with 18077 words
With a total of 192903 words!
Well I did wanted to outdo last year and write 100k words for Ososan but this was crazy. Anyway, let's look forward to what 2018 has in store for us!
This is a pretty boring and self-indulgent review because this is the first time I'll be doing something like this. Why do something like this you ask? Because I believe that 2016 had been the most productive year I had when it comes to writing.
So even if I have no data to compare my shit with. Here are the numbers I've gathered:
Total fanfics: 10 (9 are for Osomatsu. 2 still ongoing) Original fics: 2 (1 still ongoing) Revision: 1
Now let's talk in WORD COUNT! Total published words for original fics: 16095 Total published words for fanfics: 95,858 (with 93,802 for Osomatsu fanfics. WOW) Total published words: 111,953
I noticed something very important while I was getting these word counts. The last update I did for Heartbeats was on April 2016, and the first fanfic I've written for Osomatsu-san was also last April 2016. Something happened to me that day. It's like the day I've casted my humanity aside and jumped into this bottomless dark pit. Back then I really thought that after making one fic I could easily go back and be normal again. Apparently, that was not the case.
I really blame Osomatsu for everything. I'm just so inspired all the fucking time and it's so easy to write in this fandom. I enjoy it though, and I still have so many things I want to write that I hope I get to put all these ideas out there.
Hopefully 2017 would also be kind to me! And if this fandom continues, here's to reaching 100k word count for JUST Osomatsu-san!
I want to do lots of things, sometimes I want to do all those things at the same time... but guess what? Laziness often takes over and all those "wants" remain "ideas" until they are eventually left too long inside my head and eventually forgotten.
And that is the problem... no matter how many books I add to my 'To-read' list or many ideas I chuck into my 'Idea Bin' those things won't come into reality if I don't get up and actually do it.
It's the same as drawing. I suck. I really suck. But whining that I suck and feeling sad about it won't make me suck less, it would just make me stay in this zone of suck where I don't move forward and (heavens forbid that I suck more) don't move backward.
So I'm trying this thing where I love all my accomplishments and be truly happy that I did something in order to have more to look forward to. Like, "hey I have minimal typo errors this time, yay for me." Or "look, this pose is less awkward compared to how it looked 30 mins ago" I try to be less harsh to myself. I've been really harsh to myself for n years, it's time to reconcile.
So yeah, those tutorials won't draw themselves and those fics won't write themselves. Those pictures won't paint themselves and those other projects won't create themselves. Those reference materials won't study themselves! I don't have tiny elves that will help me do all those things for me and that is the harsh reality of life that we all inherently knew ever since we were born.
Those ideas will be forgotten if I don't do something about it and even if I forgot them I feel sad for all those scenes, images and OCs that were never born because of my lazy ass.
*breathes*
Ok rant over.
I guess someday I would look back on this post and re-read it and I'll be glad/annoyed that I wrote something like this. (Hey future me! Remember this? You actually wrote it). But whatever the future me is doing now, I just hope that she did whatever she wanted to do today when she wrote this post. And if you did, great job! If you didn't, we should work on that.... :)
Basically I was -- and still am-- stuck in Osomatsu-san hell.
Like how on earth am I still addicted to this series after it that had already ended? Where is the stop button for this fandom?
But here I am still writing fanfics for Osomatsu-san, and having new ideas everyday I might add. I vomited a multi-chapter angst fic. A one-shot fluff fic. And a one-shot (hopefully a one-shot, PLEASE HELP ME STOP) AU fic
Currently I have another two AUs on queue....
...and I am enjoying writing each and every word.
I've experimented some stuff while writing these fanfics and it turned out nice. I'm hoping to apply them in my original stories soon. Speaking of originals: Heartbeats is on hiatus, ZOLE is still ongoing and it's still gives me mixed emotions every single time I proofread it.
For fanarts, I just made one doodle... which basically means I may or may not be practicing drawing enough. I'll try to fix that this month.
Back to the fandom...
(sings)Welcome welcome to Osomatsu-san hell~ You are never coming back from Osomatsu-san hell.
And for the cherry on top of this luscious sundae of broships and problematic characters, I just pre-ordered not one, but two... TWO nendoroids. Back then I was able to stop myself from buying that cute Len Kagamine nendo among other nendos that I really really wanted to buy...
But now here I am already waiting for oniisan to arrive.
I wonder... what will happen to me if Osomatsu-san would have another season? When will it end?
It did not matter whether he agreed with them or not. He knew their strengths and he knew their weaknesses: the crimes, the lies, the promises, as well as all their accomplishments. He assisted them on their wonderful plans and was heartbroken when they disappointed him.
…oh, how they had broken his heart too many of times. Again and again. Like a cycle of pain and deception that could only end in destruction.
He could stop them; yet all he could do was bow down.
Who was he anyway, but just a country? And a country is made of its people. In the end only the people had the ability to choose.
So what if the choice was made blindly, with all decisions influenced by money or fame; or if the results was as dubious as acts done in the dark? The outcome, even if questioned by most, still marked the end of the race and like all the other contests --there could only be one winner.
This was the leader that the people had chosen and he could never interfere with the voice of democracy.
He was but a witness even if he was the one who suffered the backlash the most.
He could beg. He could plead. He could lecture them to think more about their future so that the next time, they could make a better decision.
But at the end of the day, it was their vote not his.
Matimtim kong pinanunumpaan na tutuparin ko nang buong katapatan at sigasig ang aking mga tungkulin bilang Pangulo ng Pilipinas
The cycle begins anew. He looked at the newest leader… his new boss.
He knew of this one’s records: the things this leader had done for the country and the mistakes this leader had committed. He always knew.
…pangangalagaan at ipagtatanggol ang kanyang Konstitusyon, ipatutupad ang mga batas nito, magiging makatarungan sa bawat tao, at itatalaga ang aking sarili sa paglilingkod sa Bansa. Kasihan nawa ako ng Diyos.
Did the people choose wisely this time or did they doom their selves again for another six years?
None of that matter.
Because as soon as the winner was announced, he had to work, smile and support this one in every way he could.
They had a country to run and he had to be beside this leader whether he liked it or not.
Tungkol sa apat na normal na batang napasok sa isang napakagulong away ng mga nagrerebeldeng froggies. Paano kaya sila makakatulong upang pigilan ang gulong ito? Matalo kaya nila ang mga kalaban bago pa nila masira ang paaralan nila?
So basically my sister and I started to listen to Hamilton's OBC Soundtrack on Spotify, and now we're addicted. It's very inspiring and all the songs are just amazing.
Aside from the inspiration we got from the message of the story and the songs, we were also inspired to rap at some point. Now, we don't really rap... I mean we can sing... somewhat... but we're not rappers. At least not me.
But I tried. This is what happens when you leave me all alone in my room.
The month just started but I'm feeling productive already.
I'm still writing Heartbeats and despite all the blocks I've been going through I still managed to update. Sadly there's like a month gap between the recent chapters and it's disappointing compared to my weekly schedule last year.
I also made a oneshot fanfic this month...which is a great thing for me since I really planned to go on fanfic hiatus due to lack of inspiration.
But most of all, I can not believe how active I was in drawing. I'm still learning and my hands are still stiff as ever... but I'm getting there... :)
So... just for the month of March. I finished these:
My lovely OCs from Heartbeats. Thinking that they are definitely younger in this one... and happier? I get all sad whenever I think about them in my story so drawing them like this makes me happy.
Recently enrolled myself to this course for writing, in the hopes of enhancing my writing abilities and to just give myself a small push to write more.
For the first module I have to think of why I write and my 'one thing' I have to focus on. I know I should write my answer on paper and put it somewhere I could see it but I want to also share it here... lalang.
------ Module 1: Think big; think small
I write because there are so many stories inside my head that are just waiting to be told. There are many characters and tales so dear to me, that the only way to show my love for them is to tell their stories. I write because I want to express myself, I want to show other people how it is to live in my head. I want to share my thoughts and feelings and imagination, and in the end take the reader inside a new adventure in the hopes that he or she would like it the same way I do.
What’s the one thing I can
do this month that will make everything else easier or unnecessary. Choose one most important
writing task to focus on for right now:
This month, I really need to fix my writing schedule in order to make things easier. I tried changing the deadline of each chapter to Sunday but that's no good, so I guess I can bring it back to Thursday, which still feels like the best day for me. But before this answer gets longer, the point is I have to get around writing that story.
「micelle」世界は恋に落ちている
Music and Lyrics by HoneyWorks
So this is this month's cover... of course it always begins like this. I get to record until February (luckily March or April) but it will slowly fade by the middle of the year when I already have a lot to do. *sigh*
Sadly, I can't upload the video to youtube due to copyright and stuff. I "tried" to make an original video that I can upload but I know that I won't be able to get around doing that so I guess this will do.
It's already 2014 and I don't have a cover yet... I cancelled my Christmas and New Year's covers since I wasn't feeling well during the holidays. I know I have been lazy in recording and uploading stuff in youtube... heck! I've also been lazy in updating my blog... I did become lazy last year...
But I said to myself: My goal this year is to make a cover a month!
This time it includes duets and chorus as well since it really eats a lot of my time.
So now here is my January cover. It's a duet with Chinx, who did an amazing job as Elsa. *u* Even if I didn't want to jump into the Frozen bandwagon I really felt a need to record/cover at least one of the movie's songs. I liked the songs and the constant LSS attacks were not helping. So as soon as I heard Chinx was going to do Elsa I thought that "hmm... maybe this is my chance to sing this song, why not?"
I was supposed to do Scarlet Bomb from Needless for January but that song was not cooperating with me at all. So I had to find another one... yay for Chinx saving me from my trivial worries /o/
Behind the scenes
During recording I felt that Anna was annoying... or rather... my Anna was annoying. Especially the lines "It's ok you can just unfreeze it." after I hear that line I always have the urge to slap Anna or shoot myself. But then after a few comments from my roommates I realized that the reason why I felt like that was because my Anna was too "cute" and it was annoyingly done. XD
So apparently there are some lines from our version that did not match the original at all, especially the spoken lines.. so aside from fixing the timing in the mixing I also adjusted the timing of the original scene from the movie... that is better than re-recording right?
In the end, even though I know there are so many things wrong with my lines I'm still pretty proud of this duet... hopefully I can move on from Frozen. Hopefully....
Hay una sa lahat napakahirap maghanap ng intsrumental/off vocal para sa awitin na ito. O kaya naman sadyang tamad lang ako maghanap... pero dahil wala akong mahanap a capella na lang. Alam ko may mga mali-mali sa pagkakanta ko pero sana may taong natuwa sa aking ginawa. Alam ko masaya ako sa ginawa ko... marahil ay kuntento na ako doon.
Eto nga pala ang mga salita na ginamit ko sa awitin na ito. Hindi sila katulad ng orihinal na pinalabas sa telebisyon noon pero noong inawit ko kasi ito hindi man lang ako tumingin sa kopya ko. Ang yabang ko kasi... ayan tuloy mali-mali /sampal
So for the past weeks I've been making this cover for the YT Vocaloid Cypher. It was really fun to do. I made the lyrics, sing/rap it and upload it to YT as a new cover.
First of all, I don't upload that often. It takes me a lot of time before a cover gets uploaded. I'm already working so the only time I can get to do this is when I get home after work. But, I usually get home tired and so instead of doing this... I rest. I also have other things to do during the weekend and as much as possible I try to spend my weekends with the people I love instead of being in front of the laptop again.
So this is a good opportunity for me to upload a new cover. The project was made in the spirit of doing fun, "no-pressure" uploads again. My friend tagged me and I excitedly did this. The lyrics took me 2-3 days, the singing took me a weekend and a few days, and the video took me 2 days. Finally I was done. In the end, it was indeed fun.
The lyric-making was frustrating. It was very hard to think of something so I ended up talking about myself. That was the easiest subject I could think of. I don't really rap that well and I was getting myself tongue-tied all over the place. The lyrics had to be modified just so I can sing it. Timing was very very important and all the time I was very focused on it. Finally, the video was simple on purpose since typography will take me months to finish and I have to pass the cypher before it gets cold. So this is my finished product. =3=
But what is "Vocaloid Cypher"? Is it a title of a song? No. An album? No.
In my words, I'd say it's a "tag! You're it" singing challenge. This is a project started by Sohly. For more info about the project you can click here. For more info about the song itself just check the description, however the lyrics of the rap isn't there so I'll post the lyrics here. ENJOY~
Because I
was tagged in this Vocacypher thing
I need to
rap now, when all I know is just how to sing
I thought it
was a good challenge and so I give it a try.
I'll make my
lyrics and rap so Let's see how this'll fly.
Now I know
that you haven't heard me rap before,
but if you
stayed you might like what I have in store.
I have an
interest in rapping, and I’m fast in yapping
So I'll try
my best and leave to you the rest
So my name
is micelle,
if I haven't told you yet.
and at first
you read it as mi’sel I bet.
And if you
look it up in a wiki I think you would see
that it is
some particle but that isn’t me
The spelling
might be the same but please pronounce it right.
or else I
have no choice but to have you in a fight.
Oh yeah
I have been
singing ever since I knew how to read
like how a
tree starts with a little seed.
But I also
write, and make videos too.
It’s because
when I get bored I just find something to do.
When you
don’t find me doing something creative
I have anime
and manga… now that’s more productive.
And because
of these hobbies I turn out to be
A fine
little lady for all of you to see
So being an
otaku doesn’t really hurt anyone.
As long as
it is right and you’re having fun
I may look
and sound young to everyone around me.
But I’m 23 as
of this year actually
And everyone
gets surprised because I am short
So I guess I
didn’t get that growth spurt
I don’t
really care now because I use it to my advantage.
I look cuter
even though I am twice that age
I finished college
and all and I’m already working
So now I
make magic on programming.
So those are
my hobbies, the things I do and stuff
My laptop got stolen a few days ago among with other things inside our apartment. I won't re-tell that story because I felt that I told it to my friends so many times already...
Anyway, because of that I am now very bored. All my files are gone and all the unifinished video and audio projects will have to be postponed until I get my hands on another laptop or PC I can work those with. I plan to use my PC at home but I won't be coming home until December. So all my plans would have to wait...
So I'm bored and this was done out of boredom: (I also think it's about time to post something new here)
I was scanning around fanarts when I suddenly realized that I want to draw again. I know it's easy to draw but I can't even submit my drawings to DA or something... I can scan my drawings but they're not "clean" enough for me. Even after scanning it I want to erase some traces of paper... color over the other parts... you know photoshop things. My real problem is that I just can't do it properly on a mouse. I want a tablet so bad... T_T after I get done with this SP I swear I'll demand a tablet from my parents and draw until my creative juices run dry!
Anyway just recently I lost my voice and surely I got my voice back again. I always think that every time I lose my voice the moment it comes back it would be better and more beautiful... you know... like when you're body building... you strain your muscles to get better muscles. I just think it works like that.
Well I lost my voice because of this song
Note to self again: DON'T EVER TRY TO SING LIKE Nodoame. Seriously I can pull off this song without hurting my throat but somehow Nodoame's version influenced me a lot and thus the lost of voice.
and the moment my voice started to come back (like after a week or so...) I started recording this song and finally uploaded it on youtube.
as far as my SP is concerned... well... don't want to talk about it.
Finally the Den Den Mushi (Snail phone) is complete. It’s a very nice little project since we could still use the phone afterwards. At first, I thought my brother only wanted to make a Den den mushi for display but when I saw the phone parts scattered inside our room I knew this is going to be an interesting project.
But of course the den den mushi isn’t as perfect as it should be. This was handmade and it was pretty obvious from the appearance alone. It also doesn’t make the den den mushi ringing sound which upsets us so much. Finally, the voice form the other line doesn’t come out from the den den mushi’s mouth. But even with these faults it was still awesome (well at least for us). COME ON IT’S A WORKING DEN DEN MUSHI! ß One Piece fan.
Anyway here’re the things we used to make this:
Phone parts – make sure that phone was working before and will still work after you acquire the parts.
Cutting stuff – scissors, cutter, knife even a small saw were used
Paper – you need lots that’s why we used that old telephone directory
Carton – something harder than paper to provide the base for the shape.
Sticky stuff – to stick the paper together. Gawgaw (Starch or cornstarch I guess…) + warm water = gooey sticky stuff. But you could use other concoction like glue + water…
Coloring stuff – we used poster color.
We started by making the den den mushi. Of Course we have some sort of plan or rough sketches on how to do it. My brother and I thought of it together… while discussing very significant issues (like the recent chapter of One Piece and conspiracies of the World Government)
We made two halves of the snail where the phone parts would be placed inside. The carton was the foundation for the layers and layers of paper. The snail’s shell was just two circles while the snail itself was a right triangle. We dipped the torn paper on the gooey sticky stuff and stick them on to the carton while making sure that it was still in the right shape as according to plan. It’s like playing with clay… just sticky and made of paper.
Once everything was settled inside we put them together.
The receiver of the phone also had a special casing.
Since the telephone directory provided us the paper we need we can’t paint it with its color at once. The numbers and letters from the paper would be too noticeable. So we had to coat it with white first making sure that no one would be able to tell what paper we used.
Then after that was my favourite part… we would paint it with the colors we chose. My brother wanted to make a Marine den den mushi, my sister wanted the Strawhat’s den den mushi (she even started making hats). In the end we decided to have our very own version. We didn’t buy anymore paint, instead we made used of what colors we already have around the house.
I finally finished my Servant of Evil fandub... this is quite special since I really love Len Kagamine... but somehow I still don't know if I like the final outcome or not. I really tried my best in singing and translating this song. I hope it turned out quite favorable.
I think I like fandubbing now even though I know how my voice sucks... I wish I could sing better in the future.
Oh well... I tried and I enjoyed making it. I hope I didn't hurt anyone's eardrums with this song.
Anyway here it is:
Lyrics:
Ikaw ang prinsesa ako'y iyong tagapaglingkod
kambal tayong pinaghiwalay ng tadhana
para protektahan ko ay gagawin ko ito
ang kasamaan ko'y inaalay ko sa iyo
Simula ng pinanganak hanggang pagkabata
marami na silang plano para sa atin
kampana ng simbahan tayo'y biniyayaan
ngunit naghiwalay dahil sa kasakiman
kahit na buong mundo pa ang kalaban mo
andito ako proprotekta sa iyo
kaya't sanay lagi ka lang masaya
gagawin ko ang lahat para sa iyong ngiti
Ikaw ang prinsesa ako ang iyong tagapaglingkod
kambal tayong pinaghiwalay ng tadhana
para protektahan ka ay gagawin ko ito
ang kasamaan ko'y inaalay ko sa iyo
Nang bumisita tayo sa karatig na bansa
doon ko nakita ang luntiang dalaga
dahil sa kabaitan niya't kanyang mga ngiti
ang pagibig sa kaniya's hindi ko maialis
ngunit kung nais ng aking prinsesa
na siya'y mawala sa kaniyang landas
sasagutin ko ang pinag-uutos niya
ngunit bakit di ko mapigilang lumuha?
Ikaw ang prinsesa ako'y iyong tagapaglingkod
kambal tayong pinagmalupitan ng tadhana
Brioche po ang miryenda ninyo ngayon
at napangiti kita ng napakaganda
Hindi magtatagal ay makakarating na
ang mga taong umuusig sa atin
kahit na nararapat para sa atin ito
kahit sino pa man yan lalabanan ko
suotin mo ito ang mga damit ko
tumakas ka habang nagpapahuli ako
huwag kang mag-alala dahil kambal tayo
di nila makikita ang pagkakaiba
ako ang prinsesa
ikaw ay isang kriminal
tadhana'y pinaglaruan ang kawawang kambal
kahit na sabihin pa nilang ikaw ay masama
ang kasamaan na ito'y nasa akin ring dugo
Noong unang panahon sa isang kaharian
may masasamanag tao na naninirahan
at ang lahat ng ito'y pinamumunuan
ng aking kapatid na ubod ng rikit
kahit na buong mundo pa ang kalaban mo
sa tabi mo naririto pa rin ako
kaya sana ngayon malaya ka at masaya
gagawin ko ang lahat para sa iyong ngiti
Ikaw ang prinsesa ako'y iyong tagapaglingkod
kambal tayong pinaghiwalay ng tadhana
para protektahan ko ay gagawin ko ito
ang kasamaan ko'y inaalay ko sa iyo
Kung mabubuhay lamang ako na muli
nais kong makipaglaro sa iyo lagi