Ok this is just an idea.
I want to do lots of things, sometimes I want to do all those things at the same time... but guess what? Laziness often takes over and all those "wants" remain "ideas" until they are eventually left too long inside my head and eventually forgotten.
And that is the problem... no matter how many books I add to my 'To-read' list or many ideas I chuck into my 'Idea Bin' those things won't come into reality if I don't get up and actually do it.
It's the same as drawing. I suck. I really suck. But whining that I suck and feeling sad about it won't make me suck less, it would just make me stay in this zone of suck where I don't move forward and (heavens forbid that I suck more) don't move backward.
So I'm trying this thing where I love all my accomplishments and be truly happy that I did something in order to have more to look forward to. Like, "hey I have minimal typo errors this time, yay for me." Or "look, this pose is less awkward compared to how it looked 30 mins ago" I try to be less harsh to myself. I've been really harsh to myself for n years, it's time to reconcile.
So yeah, those tutorials won't draw themselves and those fics won't write themselves. Those pictures won't paint themselves and those other projects won't create themselves. Those reference materials won't study themselves! I don't have tiny elves that will help me do all those things for me and that is the harsh reality of life that we all inherently knew ever since we were born.
Those ideas will be forgotten if I don't do something about it and even if I forgot them I feel sad for all those scenes, images and OCs that were never born because of my lazy ass.
Ok rant over.
I guess someday I would look back on this post and re-read it and I'll be glad/annoyed that I wrote something like this. (Hey future me! Remember this? You actually wrote it). But whatever the future me is doing now, I just hope that she did whatever she wanted to do today when she wrote this post. And if you did, great job! If you didn't, we should work on that.... :)