Saturday, May 29, 2010

Things I want to do

I do things not because I know I'm good at it or because I'm getting paid for it but because I like doing it.

There's just this random idea inside my head waiting to explode and most of the time I can't sleep without thinking about it. Songs. Videos. Drawing. Fanfic. Story... whatever.

That's why I just do it. I am not talented so most of the times the end is uglier than what I had imagined...
I am no good in drawing.
I am not a good singer.
I'm not really a good writer.
I also cannot act well...

but at least that's over. I've let one idea out of my head and for a night I can sleep well.

Well, the most important part was that I enjoyed it. Thinking about it, making it and having the guts to share it. It makes me happy and it lessens stress.

So aside from my SP... I decided to do things on the side

Finished stuff:

Magnet fandub

Drawing and coloring with watercolor:

Come with me : Trying to remember how to use watercolor.
Deremof : Based on one of my stories (unfinished) I like drawing these characters...
April : One of my favorite characters. Let's just say if I'm Stephenie Meyers he's my Edward.
Cleansing : Based on that story that I have already finished. I love drawing this again and again.

on going stuff:

Den den mushi - an actual phone... I mean it's really working although it doesn't ring the same way and the snail's lips and hands aren't moving. We destroyed our old phone just to get those parts.

Fanfic - it's a One Piece fanfic...

Lost Boy AMV - Kaidan Restaurant ending song using One Piece clips... I even think about it while eating.

Other stories/novels that haven't been updated in ages.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

With a DON!

I didn’t keep fighting in the end. Today is another end and here I am completely helpless and powerless. There was nothing more I can do… or rather there was nothing more that I could push myself to do. As I watched the clock slowly ticking and the time slowly passing, I realized that I don’t feel anything as of now.
If there was one thing I would proudly say: I have no regrets.

I won’t blame anyone basically because there’s nothing to blame about. I won’t even blame myself. Somehow I’ll continue life as it is. I know someone will hate me because of this… my parents perhaps, or the people who believed in me… but if you’re disappointed I ask you this “have you ever thought how I feel about myself?” If there’s someone who has any right to hate me or think low of me it would be me. If you’re not me then I wouldn’t entertain your insults. Come back when I actually care.

“But you could finish it if you just rushed it?” I want to do this with a DON! So no. I am not going to present a crappy and rushed SP. That’s one reason why I don’t have any regrets because I know in myself that I already did what I can.

“I knew you needed help.” I won’t be blaming anyone because first of all no one helped me. I won’t whine about being alone and such… because I chose to do this alone. I will graduate because of my skills. Call it pride or whatever you want but like I said time and again: as long as I know I can still do it I won’t ask for any help. I’ll know when I can’t do it by myself anymore… and that’s the time I’ll ask for help. I know my limits but until then I think I can do this by myself. If you really want to help me you can always give me moral support... maybe cakes or coffee.

Although I am sorry… 
I am sincerely apologizing to those who believed in me. I just didn’t finish it. No excuses. No reasons. It was just not finished. And if I may have let you down then I would humbly bow down before you and say “I’m sorry” and smile again. I am very happy that you believed in me and continued to believe until the very end and I am hoping that you’re still going to believe in me. My fight isn’t over yet… so I still need you there. I won’t force you but I would be very grateful if you’d still believe in me. Just being there means the world to me.

Plans? So what now?

I will continue what I am doing. I will finish it. I assure you… I just don’t know how. I will confidently say this sem. But I can always say that since I am still working on it. I also plan to work even without graduating first… as to where I’m going to work. Well, I still don’t know myself. Care to help me?

It is during these times that I wish there’s a maid cafĂ© in the Philippines. I would like to work there. My greatest dream though is to be a dubber or voice actress but I know I lack the skills.

Oh well… *stretches* I will continue working. My life isn’t over yet so I have to look and push forward. I will finish what I started no matter how long it takes. There’s still more work to do and I’m more than willing to do it.

I smile once more as I look forward to another day.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Saturday, May 15, 2010


Dasoku, clear, Asamaru, amu, and Micchan are releasing an album under the unit name PointFive(.5). Jack is included as a guest vocalist. The CD is produced by PUPI, with artwork by Akiakane. There are going to be covers of VOCALOID songs, as well as new, original compositions. The only producer I know so far that is participating is Nem (he wrote Scissorhands). Genres include acapella, rock, and ballads, creating an overall tone of "harmony".

Monday, May 10, 2010

Twilight Saga: Eclipse

This is my favorite book among the four as to why tell you later but first:

We all know that Twilight is a mushy teen romance novel that has vampires in it... and since I'm a fan of cheesy teen romance I like it. But among the four books this one is my favorite.

1. Love Triangles: My favorite part of romance is when the girl is being fought over (being fought over by two handsome men is a big plus). I know it would be frustrating to choose over two good men but somehow every woman secretly wants that to happen to her. (Haba ng hair!)

2. More action: Since they get to have more fight scenes here than the other books. Come on! It's a newborn vampire army so of course there should be more fight scenes and flying body parts. Even though it was not presented properly in the book because it was from Bella's perspective I love to imagine Victoria being ripped apart by Edward...limb by limb... head flying...yeah I know there's something seriously wrong with me.

3. Edward is becoming more and more like the guy I actually want to marry and a guy who would never exist in real life. Bella wants sex. Edward wants marriage. If someone like Edward would tell us to wait because he wants to get married first I would never let go of him. It's love and not just mere lust. I have always dreamed of a guy who is not only after a woman's body but who is after a woman itself. But that just made Edward's existence less probable in real life.

It's this June so I would surely watch it. I've already planned to watch the movie with my younger sister... and I know it would be a great fangirling experience.

"I would fight for you until your heart stops beating."

Saturday, May 8, 2010

One Piece: Episode 0

I just watched One Piece Episode 0 on Youtube... come on it's really awesome~~ but somehow the video was removed.

If I only live in Japan I'll probably be one of those people who had lined up for Strong World but since I live in a country that will never show Strong World I can only cry.

I want to support One Piece to the fullest but what can I do? I'm not earning money yet... oh well.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


I finally had time to change what my blog looks like. I missed posting something here.

I haven't really done anything else nowadays. My day is filled with One Piece and my nights are concentrated on making my SP. I know I can finish it… not sure when though.

Anyway, I was browsing all of my accounts one night then I decided to check on my ongoing fanfics. I really enjoy writing fanfics that’s why seeing it having more than a thousand hits on made me really happy. I want to continue writing that fanfic but I don’t have the time. SP should be my first priority before anything else.

It’s so easy to be distracted though. Even though I know that I should remain focused there are some people around me who’re causing me problems. It’s quite annoying really. FOCUS. FOCUS. I should not be bothered but I cannot do anything about it.

I wonder if I’d really be able to finish this SP without going insane.

I really want to sleep... a long never-ending sleep...