There was one time when I woke up early in the morning and everyone was just being noisy around the house... at that point I suddenly wished I was back at LB. That’s when I decided on this: if I ever graduate I would try to get a job that is far from home so that I could live somewhere else again. I love my family but if you’re with them most of the time I feel like I'm suffocating. I try my best to please everyone most of the times. They can’t understand the things I do and don’t do, the decisions I make and don’t make… since they’re my family I often just give up and let them be even if it annoys me. I don’t want that kind of life. Ever since college I had realized that my life isn’t about anyone else but me. I should be the one making the final decisions. I should be the one who will take the step.
I know my limits and the reality that I am still a student that’s why I don’t pretend that I can live without my parents unlike some other teenagers or people similar my age. I know very well that I cannot live on my own right now, that’s why I just let my mother do what she wants with my life but as soon as I can live on my own I would surely break away from here.
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Anyway, last Thursday (June 10) my friend and I went out since she wanted to go to church. I happily went with her. I missed her and I would rather go out and hurt my feet from walking than to stay inside the house and hurt my butt from sitting.
We decided to meet in Megamall but since my friend was exploring another route I arrived at our meeting place earlier than her. So I went with a date with myself. I went to some toy stores and gift shops. Somehow at that moment I hoped that I already have a job. There’re so many things I want to buy for myself and for other people too bad that I don’t have any extra money with me.
When she finally arrived we had lunch and went to church by walking there. It was a long walk and I was thankful that I wore flats that day. We stayed there for a while praying silently. I prayed about lots of things that at some point it seems like I’m talking casually rather than praying. I haven’t done this for a while. My heart felt lighter and at ease after that.
I wonder if you know where we went
We then stayed at a bookstore for a while just reading on the floor.
Inside the mall...
My friend never rode on an MRT before and that was her first time. I was just glad I was with her. I remembered my first time riding the MRT. It was very exciting.
We then went to Trinoma. Since our other friends were not there yet, we went around the mall. I bought myself some USB-powered light. I was really planning to buy one. We also went to Comic Alley where I found this cute Len plushie. I wanted to buy it so bad. I was holding on to it the whole time we were inside the store. I almost imagined that it was mine.
Isn't he adorable?
But alas, I don’t have enough money so I had to leave it there. GOODBYE LEN!
Len Kagamine... soon you'll be mine
After that was karaoke. Because of the rain they were late. I was really worried about the time because I needed to go back home.
Although it annoys me to no end, I just had to go home before everyone. We just had dinner and they send me home.
Afterwards I learned that they went to another place to drink after I left. Even though I was a little envious I still stopped myself from reacting childishly. I believe that next time I would be with them until we all go home. Stupid curfew. Someday… I won’t have one anymore! Yeah!
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