Sometimes I smile

Every morning whenever I fight my way through the battlefield that is rush hour EDSA I try my best to smile. I smile to annoy people, to entertain people, and to make fun of the whole ridiculous shitty system.

There are mornings though that I don't smile just to smile. There are mornings that are truly beautiful that I just can't control myself from pulling my lips to a smile. I had long forgotten how to be a morning lark, but now it's coming back to me.

But sometimes I try to imagine what it would feel like to see a single smiling face in a pool of stressed scowls. Dare I hope that I make someone's day just by actually trying to be pleasant in the morning.

I walked home from Mega today... it feels like shit

We were there. I was there. I WAS FUCKING THERE!
I was in the middle of the crowd, surrounded by people who were blinded by their faith and hypnotized by the strong and soothing (at medyo mangiyak ngiyak pa) voices of their leaders. They clung to their every word. They stayed in the streets; sleeping on the road and letting even their children get wet and hungry.

It was very repulsing, even more disgusting than the stench of pee and odor of the people around me.

We just wanted to go home. We just wanted to go back to our dry and comfy home. But you assholes blocked the roads, pushed me around, shouted in my ear, littered the already dirty EDSA, and made my short walk home feel like shit.

The whole time I was just thinking of our goal. Onti na lang makakauwi na kami. I tried my best not to voice my opinion and to not physically attack anyone. I am quite proud of my patience. It was such a feat. Because I swear, I was so angry with all the stupidity and foolishness.

Respect? Bullshit!

Hindi niyo nga nirespeto yung mga tao na nakatira sa paligid at higit sa lahat minura niyo na rin lahat ng mga tao na gumagamit ng EDSA. Hindi ko gustong respetuhin ang mga bobong tulad niyo.
Hindi ako naniniwala sa mga paniniwala niyo pero kaya kong tumahimik tungkol doon at hayaan kayo na mabuhay sa panaginip na yan, pero ngayon nakakaagrabyado na kayo.
That's all you.
That's not god or whoever anymore. Being there was all your decision.
So I will not respect you because what you did was awful.

I hate you. You are wrong.

Wala kayong pakialam sa kapakanan namin mas lalong wala akong pakialam sa inyo.

Kahit may nakikita akong mga taong natutulog sa kalsada, mga taong mukhang pagod at gutom, at mga basa sa ulan. Hindi ako nakaramdam ng awa. Siguro naawa ako sa mga walang alam na bata dahil nakaladkad lang sila doon ng mga magulang nila. Pero nagagalit ako sa lahat ng mga may-isip na, kahit pa sa mga matatanda, dahil ginusto nila yan kaya mabuti at magdusa sila.

Gusto ko pa nga makaramdam pa sila ng mas malalang bagay hanggang sa matauhan sila at mapaisip na hindi naman tama ang ginagawa nila. Gusto ko silang mag-isip at hindi maging tanga-tangang sumusunod sa kung ano lang ang sabihin ng mga pinuno nila. Gusto ko lang talaga silang umuwi.

Kung ayaw niyo respetuhin at sundin ang mga batas na namamahala sa bansang ito e di lumayas kayo!
Hindi namin kayo kailangan at mas lalong hindi namin gusto kayong makasama.

Separate yourself completely from our country please. We would love it if you go away.

In the end, I made it back home safely. But up until now, I still want to skin alive and torture each and every single person there.
I wonder if Abalos would give me a permit for that if I can secure millions of votes for him. I bet he will.

Taxi

I decided to write in this blog today because I haven't written anything for the past few weeks (or was it a month already). I have a few things I want to write I got lazy so now I'm going to make a quick impromptu blog entry.

Maybe I should begin by telling you what happened today. I slept late and woke up late so I decided to take a taxi to work. That's what I usually do when I'm really really late. >o<  

So before hailing a taxi I bought coffee in can and cookies. I was so hungry that I ate the cookies while still waiting for a taxi, when the taxi arrived I continued eating inside. I finished eating and drinking before we even got to the main road and there I realized that it's Friday. Friday night's traffic usually goes from moderate to heavy because of people going out or people going home. There were cars everywhere and I never liked that... I mean... this is why I chose to work at night!  

Anyway, so during the traffic I got a little sleepy and ultimately fell asleep. I woke up and realized I slept throughout the traffic of EDSA. I checked the clock and that was a good 3 minutes or so. 

Ok so I have heard and read horror stories about various modus operandi inside a taxi usually it's either hold up or rape or both or more. I read about some gas inside the taxi that a passenger could inhale so they could fall asleep. I also read about taxi drivers that would let some random guy inside the taxi and then he and his friends could rob you. I had read about those stories and of course I knew those stories were true. 

So I slept even with that knowledge inside my head. This was not my first time sleeping inside a taxi. Before I used to ride a taxi for the sole purpose of taking a nap during the trip. So far nothing wrong ever happened to me I got safely to where I wanted to go each and every time. Sure, I got cheated by a driver and I paid him more than normal but I couldn't count that since it's not life threatening. There were also a few occasions where someone I didn't know rode a taxi with me (I was never alone when this happened don't worry) and that other person was the one inconvenienced while I paid the right amount.

I guess you could say I'm lucky. But rather than luck I believe in the kindness of people.

Now a normal person would always be alert and realistic but I was never really a normal person. I usually let my guard down and imagine scenarios that I sort of want to happen but I knew that I couldn't do it because I'm a wuss or because it was just impossible to begin with. This time while inside the taxi I held on to the empty coffee can in my hand. I thought that at the first sign of something weird I would scream and attack the driver like some wild child. I would then try to jam the coffee can inside the driver's eye socket until everything was inside... again like some wild child. Thinking about it excited me and somehow woke me up a bit. I looked at the driver beside me and actually tried to estimate if the coffee can could actually fit in his eye socket. Oh well... it didn't really matter for me if it would fit... I would still jam it in to the best of my abilities.

Then I thought, what if he had a gun? 

Then I would still try to jam it in like a wild child even as I was shot. Maybe I'll try to speak some random gibberish in my dying breath so I could leave something for him to think about. I would absolutely love it if he thought he was cursed or something.. maybe he would change his ways and never harm any of his passengers again. I guess won't really care about it after I die but it would be a nice parting gift. 

Yes I know that it's not a good thing to just accept these awful things happening but somehow imagining these things calm me down. It's my way of being "alert" without being "paranoid". 

Being alert and being on your toes is good and all but I don't think there is ever such a thing as a "safe" place. Nowhere is safe; there are dangers lurking around even at the comforts of your own bedroom. So if you say that, "I won't ride a taxi ever because I have a friend who was hold upped there" then also please consider the amount of crimes happening everyday inside buses, trains, etc... so in the end will you just walk to work? But then again you could get hold up or raped in the street... so better not go outside? But there are also cases where people are murdered inside their houses... 

...so would you just rather die? Trying to get away is futile so rather than trying to escape we just have to face it and try to live another day. Safety is a fragile little thing and as long as you are alive you won't really be safe. 

So in the end I was a little bit disappointed since I didn't go wild child mode. As I looked at the empty coffee can I could still imagine jamming it inside the driver's eye socket hoping that blood would squirt out like it did in the movies. It was not my time again, and I was glad. 

The world is still a nice place to live in. 

Now playing inside the bus : Kris

There are some shows that are disgusting, scary or disturbing to watch... and then there's Kris Aquino's morning show. It's just so painful to watch...so.very.painful.

They were in Baguio and there was this chef who cooked Adobo with strawberries. I thought it's just like Adobo with pineapples so the whole thing didn't appeal to me at all. (Note: I hate Adobo with pineapples.) Anyway, so while this guy was enumerating the ingredients he made a mistake in one of the vegetables' Filipino name. He obviously doesn't cook Filipino food that much... so when Kris commented about it I thought it was fine and it was her job to correct him. 

However, while the guy was cooking she became nosier and nosier. Imagine the chef cooking and she's on the side saying, "oh so you don't put that anymore... when I cook I usually do this and that". She went on and on to pointing out how different that dish is to a normal adobo. 

Well, of course it's different... it's a different recipe! Yes it's the same Adobo but if it's just "cook adobo then dump strawberries" then maybe it's not worth being shown at all since there's nothing special in it. I don't know anything about cooking so maybe the chef changed the way of cooking Adobo to accommodate the strawberry's taste. I don't know... 

but that really isn't my point. 

This is my point. The whole time I was watching that segment from her show I felt awful. I pity the chef because he's obviously being embarrassed by her, well I'm embarrassed for him so yeah... he must have felt it too. I also felt that she's being too arrogant and annoying. For a host, she's too nosy. Instead of putting the limelight on the dish or on the chef it's still on her. Adobo is her specialty so she felt that she had to butt in... so what?! If you really wanted to be the center of attention you should have cooked for yourself instead of looking for someone to bully. 

Anyway, those things might not be what they intended but as a member of the audience that's what I felt. Watching them and hearing her saying those things made me feel uncomfortable that it's almost painful to watch. I'd rather watch Saw or something gory than this. Fake blood and movie gore would have been more comfortable than this. 

If you don't like it then don't watch!

I was sitting a seat  behind the driver in the middle of two people. I can't look at the side window since it's "too near yet too far" and I don't want to stare at someone's ass in the isle. I have no choice but to watch her stupid show. 

So the questions I kept asking myself since that time:

Why are people like that famous? Why can't she do her job properly? Why do people like to watch annoying shit? Why do people let her do this in front of a TV camera? Doesn't she care about what the chef guy was feeling? Doesn't she realized what her audience was feeling?

God it was awful. I hated that whole trip. 

*sigh* Oh well. This is just me ranting... =_=