The new certain me

To that certain you somewhere out there,

Hey, I did it. I managed to experience the same thing you felt. I finally managed to step into the world you belonged to when I met you back then. I finally managed to be the one at the center of the stage, the one that people watched. I finally achieved something I only dreamt of doing. The same thing I saw you doing. Although I’m sure it wasn’t the same thing. I’m sure that if it was you then you won’t be blinded by the bright lights. I’m sure that if it was you then you won’t shake like I did. I’m sure you would be calm. I’m sure that you won’t be amazed by your own shadow or your own reflection. I’m sure you would be more focused. I’m sure you would know what you are doing when you are doing it.

Yes, of course, it would be different.

But you know what… I’m happy it was different. I have my experiences and you have yours. I don’t know anything about your experiences and because of that I can be proud of mine. I don’t know everything you felt and in that case I can treasure all the things I felt.

It was exhilarating. Until now, when weeks had passed, I can still remember it like it happened just a moment ago. I danced, I sang and I acted. I wasn’t afraid and I had so much fun. I didn’t care what people would think of me. I didn’t care about the problems I was experiencing that time. I casted off everything that I normally am and became a totally different person.  I didn’t even care to listen to the audience’s clap or cheering the whole time. During that time, I didn’t perform to please everyone else.

I did it for me.

Back then, I just wanted to do my best… and I think I did. I think that was my best. Maybe in some other time, when I would be fortunate enough to be given a second chance, then I would perform even better than my best.

So will I stop? Of course not. I have felt how fun it is and how hard it is, so if God will give me another shot at it then I will go for it!

However, I will not forget that you had been an inspiration for me. The desire to be a part of that world even burned greater because of you. I will never forget that day when I watched you on stage and cried on the way home. For that single instance, I thank you. You may not know me but I’m forever thankful.

Hoping you are still performing until now,

The certain me.