Oh hi, old me

Out of whim, I searched for the box where I kept my college stuff. The last thing I remember was that I kept all those things inside boxes. The “me” I know is quite organized. I must have labelled them somehow or even have an inventory of the school supplies. I can trust the old me to have kept them safe but somehow I can’t remember what happened to those things upon getting home. My mother must have stored them somewhere and I only have an idea as to where.

It’s hard to sleep when your heard is full of thoughts racing around with no direction. I think it started with the thought that I wanted to “write”… not type but write… I wanted to write a journal, a diary. From that I tried to recall when the first time I wrote on a diary. I think a project of some sort gave me the idea and from there I wanted to continue my own. So that was around grade school? I do not really remember. I remembered that I had a white notebook that I treat as my diary back when I was in college. That was my college life, or some of it, in written form and it was all inside one notebook. I sat up and decided to look for that diary. I wanted to read it and remember who I were back in my college days.

I searched my mother’s room. Under heavy plastic bags and other boxes that have contents I don’t know of, I found my boxes. Of course they looked the same as the last time I saw them. The index cards, new pencil, crayons, blue books and notebooks are still there as if waiting for me to use them for the new semester. Call me melodramatic, but seeing those things made me feel like greeting a very close old friend. It was nostalgic. I remember that I often get excited every start of the semester just by looking at school supplies. It was unfair and totally wasteful for me to leave them here when they can still be used so I salvaged some of the things that I could pass to my little sister. I know she could put them to good use.

After a while of digging around in the end, the diary was not there.

I just hope that the little memory of bringing that diary and some stuff back in the condominium is not a dream. I guess I just have to trust the previous “me” for that.

However all this searching didn’t end with nothing. I found my other diaries: grade school and high school. Somehow if this was accurate, then my official diary started when I was in Grade 4.

I tried to fall asleep by reading my Grade 4 self's handwriting and it was a very funny experience indeed. I noticed that I had a big problem with “dairy” and “diary”. I also found it cute that I used to write the time of my sleep to end the entry of the day: “I slept at 9:00” or “I slept at 8:30”. There are so many things that I don’t remember anymore while reading but it was nice to know the names of past friends or to know which toy I played for hours. I also read about the first time I got a laptop and how I thought designing cards was a game.

I decided to read this maybe until I get a new notebook I could write my life to. I know I already have a blog for that but of course there are some things that I want only the future me to read about. At some point the idea of innermost thoughts being all public scares me. 

This is halloween~

This year because of my new interests, Halloween had become my most favorite holiday. I think I like it even more than Christmas now.

The most powerful reason I have to love this holiday is that we can dress up and look ugly/weird/gory as much as we can without being judged as crazy. It is normal for people to paint blood on their faces and look fabulously ugly and I really enjoy the idea.  It is a celebration of blood and gore without having to have the intent on killing someone. And in a way, that is wonderful.

I am already set on my costume even before the date for our office Halloween party is already set. Since I’m preparing my Dead Master cosplay I might as well use it for Halloween. I don’t have the scythe, claws and horns yet but I won’t be cosplaying DM anyway so only the dress will do.

We already have cobwebs and tiny spiders all around the office. It was very nice to see that I'm not the only one who cares about Halloween. Usually people get excited about Christmas as soon as the "-ber" months arrive that they often forget that October and November still have holidays to offer. After Halloween we have All Saint's and All Soul's day and I believe those two should be remembered and considered as much as Christmas. But then again... an all out All Soul's day candle sale sounds ridiculous to me. 

I remember when I was younger I only saw Halloween on television. In my neighborhood no one really celebrated Halloween and we're supposed to always be gloomy and sad because of Nov1 and 2 because of all those things the holiday became even more inviting. In contrast to the sad "holiday" of remembering the dead, I see this holiday where children dress up in costume and can get candies. Of course to a little girl that holiday looks more fun... seriously.. the only fun thing about "Undas" is that we don't have classes those two days.

So I went to my dressmaker to check on my costume and to get fittings. In the beginning it was too tight then during the Halloween party it was too loose. Currently, the dress is still with her and I haven't seen what happened to it ever since. Somehow I haven't had a costume made that is perfect during the first fitting. :(

Aside from the dress I also prepared for my eyes. Of course I wouldn't want to wear my glasses in the party... unless my whole costume will go with it and I don't think it is. Unfortunately, my brown contact lenses (from my Conchita costume) are at home. I left it there accidentally. And since I'm a brat, instead of going home and just getting it, I went to the mall and bought a new pair. Sadly, the color I wanted is not available on my eyes... my eyes are around 5.00... it is really really bad. But I still found green ones that can reach my eye grade. I need green ones for DM and everything I'm doing now is really just a preparation for my Dead Master cosplay

Before the party my roommate kindly bough me this to satisfy my bloody needs. It's really fun to play with and I don't have to make my own bloody concoction which is very very nice for me and for the kitchen. But what I really enjoyed about this fake blood is the name: "Vampire Blood". What if somebody drinks it, will they turn into a vampire? LOL. Like my friend said "what will they sell next? Mermaid bones." Although secretly, I am looking forward for that time when they sell Memaid bones in Toy's r' us.

So this is my first makeup practice. I haven't acquired the fake blood here yet so I just used my red lipstick for "blood". I am not good with makeup but what the heck! This is halloween not the king's ball. I can just smudge everything and it will still look right for the occasion. I also tried my wig here already and I'm loving my fake curls. :3

I also ripped and dirtied my favorite white stockings. It's amazing how this stocking lasted longer than I expected, considering I just bought it at 711. It is quite thicker than the usual but I was thinking it would last me only a few weeks.... but as far as I can remember, this stocking had been with me for a year now take away a few months... but nearing that length of time. And today... I ruined them all for the love of Halloween. :3

In the end everything turned out fine for my costume. It was very fun to put blood on myself and to my office mates and if it's just me I would have blood all over my face and hands and stuff... but that would just be going over the top and where's the class in that?

So here are my pictures for that day: (including the one in the beginning of the post)

Here I am inside the ladies' room preparing

my original concept was to make me look like doll... well you won't always get what you want but this is good enough

I just think this picture is extra creepy :3

Of course after the party we still had to work. That's pretty much fine with me but if I could only wear my costume while working.. well I could wear it but that would be weird for the others... 

But I still continued to play with the fake blood since it's fun and even our teammates who had missed the party enjoyed the fake blood as well. Who doesn't like fake blood anyway? That is the only time you can play with blood in all its magnificent gore without thinking that someone got hurt acquiring it. 

I wish next year it could be like this again... and I hope next year my costume is bloodier and creepier!

-----------------------------

"By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes."